In the Netflix series 3 Body Problem, Will Downing undergoes a procedure to remove his brain from his cancer stricken body, put into a spacecraft, and launched into space. The idea was that it would remain cryogenically frozen until it made contact with the oncoming alien space fleet halfway on their journey to invade Earth in 400 years. One of the radiation sail strings breaks, causing the capsule to lose course and Will’s brain to float indefinitely in space.
In the previous years, I had on more than one occasion, woken up in the middle of the night having had dreams that I was completely isolated. The only person for millions of miles. Marooned on a planet. Or perhaps the only person left in the universe. I’d wake up in a cold sweat, in the dark, trying to shake these feelings away. Over time, I have learned that turning on the light (even in an empty hotel room), having a cold drink, washing my face and making the room cooler before going back to bed was a way out of that feeling of dread.
Logically, I have also assuaged myself that if I were indeed marooned on a planet, that it would be a short time before my body would succumb to hunger and death.
But extrapolating the storyline, the brain was floating in space and aware, was a bit of a trigger for me while watching the show. As I write this, I realise that if one fell into a coma and were aware of their condition and surroundings, but unable to react…. woah… that’s definitely a trigger for me!
I turn to a story I read about a prisoner of war. I cannot remember his name, but in my internet searches, it was a common theme that many POW’s accepted their circumstances, and would cultivate themselves to be their best version every minute, hour, day, week, month and year. Many of them also learned to meditate and to have a quiet mind.
I’d like to say I meditate frequently, but I can’t. I have been on a mindfulness journey since about 2018. Learning the basics and more advanced techniques through Headspace, then deciding for myself (rightly or not), that unguided self meditation was the way to go. Since then, it has been sporadic. I used Spotify playlists, or the breathe feature on my Apple Watch (only 5 minutes). In January of this year, I picked up a free year’s subscription on Balance, and have started at the beginning… and put in 20 hours into it so far. Yay me!
It is a PRACTICE, and effort has to be put in every day. Some days, my mind is serene like a lake. Other times, it jumps around frantically from one thought to another – it’s like watching a pinball game in my head. I’ve learned that there are things I can do to maximise the chances of a good session. Do it early in the day before work and doom scrolling takes over. Don’t meditate after a few drinks – you’ll just fall asleep. Over everything, I’ve learned that I have to be kind to myself before I can be kind to others.
Wrapping this up, yes, there may be a coma in my future, one leaves me isolated from the world. And que sera, sera. I will just have to take the time to turn my mind into a beast.
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